ON: Heartbreak
It doesn’t get better, but it gets easier. I was talking to a friend the other day and that’s how I described the process of healing a hurting heart. It’s a hard, individualized, personal experience that no one can help you with but yourself. Truthfully, only you are reminded of their smell, or their favorite food that you see on a menu, or a song that you used to listen to together plays in the car. You are the only one who feels this, and with that, you are the only one who can do the healing.
It seems that ~parting ways~ is a frequent series of events these days. Whether it’s leaving for college, the collapse of long-distance during college, or needing to take time apart, break ups are always, unfortunately, ever-present. The thing is, you can do everything ‘right’ and it still doesn’t get a whole lot better. But, it gets a whole lot easier.
So with that, I’m listing a couple tips that helped me heal my little hurting heart.
Let yourself be sad. It’s ok to grieve a relationship, and in fact, it’s a lot healthier than not grieving it at all. Sad songs and Pinterest quotes all the way.
Acknowledge that that person will always be important to you, and if there is anything that will last forever, it’s that. Keep that in mind.
Take time. Time teaches you a lot of things, but it really teaches you to see — to see what matters, and what doesn’t, to see what you want to keep, and what you want to leave, to see what you want to bring with you to your next phase, and what you want to let go of. Write these down in a list - “bring with me” and “leaving in the past”. Take the best things with you.
Don’t forget the memories. Keep the honest moments close to your heart. The ones that made your stomach have butterflies. Those don’t need to disappear just because the relationship did.
You don’t need to explain yourself. Your healing looks a lot different than your friends’. It’s not supposed to be an identical path; there’s no one right way, so honor that and slowly learn how to hold your own heart.
People kept telling me how sad it all was—the whole thing. Don’t get me wrong, it is heart-breaking letting go of someone you grew so close to. But, one thing I found helpful was to turn some of the sadness into being grateful — grateful that you had someone in your life who you could share so much with. Be grateful that somehow you ended up together, be grateful that you existed together, and be grateful that you found each other.
Go on walks. Lots of walks. It helps to process it all.
Do more of what you love, especially now that you have more time. Take it day by day. Some days are harder than others. It’s up and down, up and down. And truly, you never know what kind of day(s) you’re going get. Be gentle on yourself. And don’t forget to forgive yourself, too.
I know how much it hurts, and my heart aches for you. Know that while you are responsible for your own healing, you do not have to carry all of it alone. I hope that my words and advice took some of the weight off of your aching heart. It doesn’t get better, but it gets easier.
xx,
savannah
